"You Can't Hurry Ribs" and Other Great Food Tunes
By Meathead
To the tune of
"You Can't Hurry Love"
with apologies to Diana Ross
"You Can't Hurry Ribs", Meathead's theme song, sung by Natalie Longo, should play automatically when you open this page from the playlist at right. If not, click the "listen" buttons below. Feel free to download it, burn it, and play it on the road while you're lookin' for that great little rib shack. It's copyright free!
I need ribs, ribs,
To ease my day.
I need to find time,
To cook them right!
My papa said:
You can't hurry ribs!
No, you just got to wait.
He said ribs don't come easy,
It's a game of time and temp.
You can't hurry ribs!
No, you just have to wait.
Just trust in low 'n slow,
No matter how long it takes.
How many boiled slabs must I stand?
Before I find the crunch to let me live again?
Right now the only thing that keeps me hanging on,
Is a mem'ry of smokiness down to the bone.
I remember Papa said:
Can’t hurry ribs!
No you just have to wait.
He said ribs don’t come easy,
It’s a game of time and temp.
How long must I wait?
How much thirst must I slake?
Before succulent slabs
Will cause my taste buds to wake?
No, I can't bear them burnt or boiled.
I grow impatient for meat that falls off the bone.
But when I feel that I, that I can’t go on,
These precious words keep me hanging on,
I remember Papa said:
You can’t hurry ribs!
No, you just have to wait.
He said ribs don’t come easy,
It’s a game of time and temp.
You can’t hurry ribs,
No, you just have to wait.
He said trust in the low 'n slow,
No matter how long it takes!
Now ribs, ribs they don’t come easy.
But I keep on waiting, anticipating.
For that juicy meat
To talk to me at night
For some tender flesh
Hickory smoked just right!
I keep waiting
Until it's done.
But it ain’t easy.
It ain’t easy.
My papa said:
You can’t hurry ribs.
No, you’ll just have to wait.
He said ribs don’t come easy.
It’s a game of time and temp.
You can’t hurry ribs.
No, you just have to wait.
Just trust in low 'n slow,
No matter how long it takes.
Stand By Your Grill
By Meathead
To the tune of
"Stand by Your Grill"
with apologies to Tammy Wynette
Sometimes it's hard to be a grill-man.
In the heat 'n sleet 'n hail 'n rainstorms.
You'll get burned meat,
And you'll get raw meat,
And you'll get grief, you understand.
But if you love eatin,
Stay at your station,
Even though the game's on television.
Just learn some patience,
Stay at your station,
Cause after all, it's art not science.
Stand by your grill!
Watch out for flareups,
And beware of cold spots,
When nights are dark and lonely.
Stand by your grill!
Keep tongs and beer can handy,
Keep drinking all the beer you can,
Stand by your grill!
Stand by your grill!
And tell your wife you love her,
Keep drinking all the beer you can,
Stand by your grill!
Grillin' in the Snow
By Meathead
To the tune of
"Singin' in the Rain"
with apologies to Gene Kelly
I'm grillin' in the snow,
Just grillin' in the snow!
What a glorious feelin',
I'm chillin' doncha know.
I'm laughing at snow
Meltin' in the glow.
The grill is not fazed,
The meat's ready for glaze.
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place,
Come on with the flakes,
I've a smile on my face.
I walk out the door,
With a hunger for pork,
Flippin' the meat,
I'm ready to eat.
[Dance:] Grillin' in the snow
Dee-ah dee-ah dee-ah
Dee-ah dee-ah dee-ah
I'm chillin' doncha know!
I'm grillin' and chillin' in the snow!
Other tunes in Meathead's iTunes Library
Ain't Nobody Here but Us Chickens by B.B. King
All That Meat and No Potatoes by Fats Waller
Barbecue by Robert Earl Keen
Blessing of the Pork by Billy Ray Mangham
Burger Man by ZZ Top
Cheeseburger in Paradise by Jimmy Buffett
A Chicken Ain't Nothin' but a Bird by Cab Calloway
Chicken Cordon Blues by Steve Goodman
Chicken Shack Boogie by Lionel Hampton & His Sextet
Chicken Soup with Rice by Carole King
Chocolate by Chenille Sisters
Chocolate Chip by Miles Davis
The Closer to the Bone (The Sweeter Is the Meat) by Louis Prima
Dixie Fried by Kentucky Headhunters
Eating Greens by Michael Tilson Thomas
Eggs and Sausage (In a Cadillac With Susan Michelson) by Tom Waits
Everytime I Eat Vegetables It Makes Me Think of You by Ramones
Food Innuendo Guy by Adam Sandler
Food, Glorious Food (Overture) from Oliver by Lionel Bart
Fried Bananas by Benny Golson
Fried Bananas by Dexter Gordon
Fried Chicken by Ice T
Fried Chicken and Coffee by Nashville Pussy
Fried Chicken and Gasoline by Southern Culture on the Skids
Fried Neck Bones and Some Homefries by Willie Bobo
Frim Fram Sauce by Diana Krall
Hold Tight (Want Some Sea Food Mama) by The Andrews Sisters with Jimmy Dorsey & His Orchestra
Hot Barbecue by Brother Jack McDuff, Pat Martino & Red Holloway
I Heard the Voice of the Porkchop by Greg & Jere Canote
It's Hard to Kiss the Lips At Night That Chew Your A*s Out All Day Long by The Notorious Cherry Bombs
Lunchbox by Marilyn Manson
Mama Bake a Pie (Daddy Kill a Chicken) by Tom T. Hall
Miss Otis Regrets (She's Unable to Lunch Today) by Ella Fitzgerald
Plant a Radish from the Fantastiks, music by Harvey Schmidt and lyrics by Tom Jones
Poke Chop Sandwich by ZZ Top
Pork Store by The Booglerizers
Trout Quintet by Franz Schubert
Red Hot Chicken by Wet Willie
Ribs and Hot Sauce by Lionel Hampton & His Sextet
Ribs and Whiskey by Widespread Panic
Saturday Night Fish Fry by B.B. King
Scenes from an Italian Restaurant by Billy Joel
Sing for Your Supper by The Mamas & The Papas
Spaghetti by Shel Silverstein
Strawberry Fields Forever by the Beatles
Struttin' with Some Barbecue by Louis Armstrong
That's Amore by Dean Martin
Vegematic by Steve Goodman
Vegetables by The Beach Boys
Watermelon Man by Jimmy Smith
Other tunes suggested by readers
Bar-B-Q by Wendy Rene, recommended by Scott Johnston of San Francisco, CA
Rib Shack Boogie by Steve Guyger and Big Joe Maher on Guyger's CD "Past Life Blues", recommended by Karl Zapf of Richmond, VA
A Fridge Full of Food by The Nancy Drews, recommended by Chef Tom Beckman of Chicago, IL
One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer by George Thorogood, recommended by Jerry of Golden, CO
Barbecue Bess by Lucille Bogan
Beer Is Good" by PsychoStick from JimCityState: in Watertown, MN
Barbecue Shoes by BBQ Pitt Boys from Aaron in Gilbert, AZ, who says "they just crack me up, brilliant personas and any song song that has a line "going down to the house of sausage" must be written in heaven.
More music
Skin and Bones by The Kinks
Jambalaya by Dr. John
Eggplant by Michael Franks
Birthday Cake by Cibo Matto
Know Your Chicken by Cibo Matto
Raspberry Beret - Prince
Suzanne by Leonard Cohen (line: And she feeds you tea & oranges that come all the way from China)
Ice Cream - Sarah McLachlan
Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson
Caramel - Suzanne Vega
Lemon - U2
Red Red Wine by Neil Diamond
Shade and Honey - Sparklehorse
Ween - Pork Roll Egg and Cheese
Kinks - Maximum Consumption
Ry Cooder - One Meatball
Gong - Camembert Electrique
Caviar and Chitlins by the Atomic Fireballs.
Beans and Cornbread by Louis Jordan
Saturday night fish fry, also Louis Jordan
Dinner Bell by They Might Be Giants
Pecan Pie by Golden Smog
The Lemon Song by Led Zep (ok, just pretend it really is about lemons)
Yummy, Yummy, Yummy and Chewy, Chewy, both by Ohio Express
and nobody has yet mentioned
You put the lime in the coconut and drink it all together,
Put the lime in the coconut then you'll feel better...
(btw, the PM Dawn version trumps Nilsson's original)
and lastly, let us not forget Stan Ridgway's immortal lyric:
I wish I was in Tijuana, eating barbecued iguana...
All That Meat and No Potato - Fats Waller (Louis Armstrong does a nice version, too.)
'Jambalaya' by just about anybody.
'Barbecue' by Duke Tumatoe
'Beans & Cornbread' by Louis Jordan
'Rum & Coca Cola' by the Andrews Sisters
'Chicken Cordon Blues' by Steve Goodman
'House of Blue Light' by Alseep At The Wheel (& some others)
'Candy' by Big Maybelle
'McArthur Park' by Richard Harris
'I Want a Hot Dog for my Roll' by Butterbeans & Susie
'Memphis Women & Fried Chicken' by Dan Penn
'Fried Chicken' by Rufus Thomas
'Chicken Heads' by James Cotton (& many others)
'Too Much Barbeque' by Big Twist & the Mellow Fellows
'Chitlins con Carne' by Kenny Burrell
'Greasy Greens' by Pucho & his Latin Soul Brothers
'Drinkin' Wine Spo-dee-o-dee' by Stcks McGhee
'Frim Fram Sauce' by Nat King Cole (but if you can find the Ella Fitzgerald version, she just a spot-on imitation of Louis Armstrong that is hysterical!)
'I Want Some Seafood, Mama' by Fats Waller
'Memphis Soul Stew' by King Curtis
'Chocolate Pork Chop Man' (!) by Pete 'Guitar' Lewis
'One Meat Ball' by Josh White (and also the Andrews Sisters, I think)
'Milkshake' by Kelis (although I suspect this isnt really about food)
'Green Onions' by Booker T & the MGs
'Call Any Vegetable' by the Mothers of Invention
'Everybody Eats When They Come To My House' by Cab Calloway
'Eggs & Sausage' by Tom Waits
'Your Greens Give Me the Blues' by Rev. Billy C Wirtz
'Angelina' by Louis Prima
'Cold Turkey' by John Lennon (I dont think this is about food either.)
'Grits aint Groceries' by Little Milton
http://www.jass.com/tom/next/noms/food2002.html
Eat Steak, Rev. Horton Heat
Rock N' Roll McDonald's, Wesley Willis
I Just Don't Want Coffee Tonight, Caedmon's Call
Breakfast, Newsboys
(Do the) Mashed Potatoes James Brown
American Pie Don McLean
Breakfast in America Supertramp
Brown Sugar The Rolling Stones
Eat to the Beat Blondie
Jambalaya on the Bayou Fats Domino
Fish, Chips and Sweat Funkadelic
Green Onions Booker T. & the M.G's
I Like Food Descendents
Ice Cream Man Van Halen
The Lemon Song Led Zeppelin
Pulling Mussels (From the Shell) Squeeze
Raspberry Beret Prince
Quiche Lorraine The B52s
Savoy Truffle The Beatles
Soul Sauce (Guachi Guaro) Cal Tjader
Sugar Magnolia The Grateful Dead
Tupelo Honey Van Morrison
Vegetables The Beach Boys
Bar-B-Q Wendy Rene
Whipped Cream (Marinelli Remix) Herb Alpert & the Tijuanna Brass
You're My Meat Joe Jackson
Applebite - Soundgarden
Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson
Big Rock Candy Mountain - Harry McClintock
Brown Sugar - The Rolling Stones
Candy Everybody Wants - 10,000 Maniacs
Champagne Supernova - Oasis
Choux Pastry Heart - Corinne Bailey Rae
Cookin' - Beatfanatic
Crackerman - Stone Temple Pilots
Englishman in New York - The Police (like my toast done on one side)
Hard Candy - Counting Crows
Honey - Moby
Ice Cream - Sarah McLachlan
Lemon - U2
Malted Milk - Eric Clapton
Mayonnaise - Smashing Pumpkins
Piece of Pie - Stone Temple Pilots
Sinkin' Soon - Norah Jones (the oyster crackers on the soup)
Strawberry Fields Forever - The Beatles
The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite - REM (Nescafe on ice)
Wild Honey - U2
red pepper blues - art pepper
jelly roll - charles mingus
finger lickin good - charlie musselwhite (ok, not quite food)
half caf decaf - debbie davies (right, I know, coffee)
cheese cake - dexter gordon
lips like sugar - echo and the bunnymen
big rock candy mountain - harry mcclintock
sno cone - j geils band
chitlins con carne - kenny burrell
sugar mountain - neil young
come on in my kitchen - rob't johnson
sugar never tasted so good - white stripes
Chicken Fried - Zac Brown Band
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AmazingRibs.com is all about the science of barbecue, grilling, and outdoor cooking, with great BBQ recipes and tips on technique. Learn how to set up your grills and smokers properly, the thermodynamics of what happens when heat hits meat, as well as hundreds of excellent tested recipes including all the classics: Baby back ribs, spareribs, pulled pork, beef brisket, burgers, chicken, smoked turkey, lamb, steaks, barbecue sauces, rubs, and side dishes, with the world's best buying guide to barbecue smokers, grills, and accessories, all edited by Meathead.
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